Hello world!
First blog. Wow, when I decided to do this I had eyes welling with tears over a boy I was missing. I thought "I have to have some place to go and just blubber on about this heartbreak...a place where surely other people will understand." So here I am. However, the creative process it took to create this here blog allowed the time necessary for the tears to dry...at least for the moment.
Damn it hurts when you fall in love with a friend. A great friend. Then you realize they are loving you with everything they have and it's still not in the way you love them. Just when your world stops shaking from that hit, they end up dating a mutual acquaintance. Someone you adore and can't talk trash about. Ouch! How dare he think she's as incredible as I do, I mean what the hell? Oh...and then they get married. Holy (insert many inappropriate words here) the pain that comes from that. Just when I think I've accepted it and convinced myself I'm happy for them and that truly loving him means wanting him to be happy even if its not with me...BAM! All those well meaning thoughts and intentions come CRASHING down and I remember...he was supposed to love me, he was supposed to share his life with me, he chose her over me. As much as I cherish my memory and memories, there are some things that, some times, you wish you could just forget.
I wonder if I'll ever think of him again and not feel the ache and longing in my heart, the air rush from my lungs like someone punched me in the gut, and the sting of salty tears in my eyes? Is it true time really heals? We'll see.
Day 1 = Heartache. Maybe Day 2 = Hope.
